Rants and Raves

Some days being a stay at home mom/aunt is the best job there is.  The babies mind and get along with each other, they play and eat all their lunch, everyone is happy and the day runs smoothly.  Yesterday we had so much fun playing in the "fort" (pack and play turned sideways with a blanket over the top.  They went in and out of it for over an hour.  It's still a big hit this morning with Avery.  :)  They also got along well when Avery climbed into the office chair (which was a little high, so she sort of got stuck there) and Dayton pushed and spun the chair, sending Avery into a fit of giggles.  :)  They both ate their peanut butter sandwiches well for lunch, Avery also ate her apple and cereal snack!  Dayton didn't want the snack (even though he loves that cereal), but since he ate the sandwich, I was a happy camper.  Those are the moments I love being home with these two all day.  But there are other moments that aren't so glorious.  :/  Sometimes a baby gets into the nice, new applied stickers on the wall and removes important pieces, only to crush them into the carpet so they'll never be usable again.  Sometimes a baby doesn't want the other baby around him or her and their toy or food and will push or hit to keep their cousin away.  Sometimes a baby is just mad for one reason or another and screams non-stop for 30 minutes or so.  Those moments are not my favorite.  They start or end my day on the wrong foot and they don't make me the fun mom/aunt that I want to be.  I try to be patient, but it runs thin after 30 minutes of screaming.  I try to let things be, but it breaks my heart to have the new decor in Avery's room ruined already.  I try to be firm and educate them that hitting and pushing isn't acceptable, but sometimes I worry that there's a communication gap and that a swift smack to the backside would get the message through a little clearer.  *sigh*  I want to only have the happy moments, but those rough moments seem to creep into so many days to discourage me.  :(  This probably will not get easier with another baby, but I refuse to let the behavior of 2 one year olds dictate the time frame in which I will have children/continue my family.  I'm much more stubborn than the 2 of them are.  So I'm sure this is the way things will continue.  Until they understand more, until they listen better, until they can hear and obey simple commands like "play nicely", "share toys", or "just look", we will continue to have days like this.  It doesn't help that they are raised in 2 different households with different rules, but we're trying and we'll get by.  I'm anxious for Connor to get here and give me a happy distraction from some of these more trying days.  The babies will have to learn even more, then, that they have to share my time and attention, but I'm looking forward to him.  On rough days or moments I don't feel much like cuddling with these 2, I'm excited for Connor's sweet, fleeting infant stage when all he'll want is to cuddle with me and sleep.  I think he'll bring sanity and a little more unconditional loving patience to my days.  If you haven't figured it out yet, today hasn't started so well and I'm sad and frustrated.  I'm trying to look to the positives so I don't overreact towards the babies.  *sigh*  I'm ready for this day to be over already.  :(  Here's hoping things turn around and Grumpy Pants over there gets it together.  Crazy how someone so small can make me feel so crappy.  Keep me in your prayers today.  This Mama needs a mental wellness day and a summer vacation with her only kiddo.  :/  Maybe I'll go get my Christmas massage soon, that could help.  We'll see...  One day at a time...