Oh man, I have so much going on in my head right now. I debate whether or not to type this and post this blog, but it is a critical moment in history that I feel, bears telling.
I try not to be political on facebook because no good comes of it. Friends and family members get mad and angry and shout and then I get mad at them. No good comes of it. So I try to stay out of it. Because I have yet to hear someone say, I changed my stance on something because someone on the internet had an argument with me and convinced me I was wrong. All that being said, I had to get off of facebook this morning because it was just too much. I had to stop going to my news outlets and I had to stay off twitter. This first thing I watched this morning when I woke up as This Video that Michael posted on facebook. It was like watching something out of a post-apocalyptic zombie movie or something.
I am heartbroken. I am terrified. I am sick over what's going on in our country. Over the systemic racism. Over the hurt and fear that people of color carry with them each and every day. Over the injustice that a police officer can kneel on a man's neck, as he gasps for breath, until he lays motionless, unconscious, dead. It is sickening. I can't even wrap my mind around what all is happening at this moment.
Ahmaud Arbery was gunned down by two men while he was taking a run.
George Floyd was nealt on, his breathing restricted, by a police officer until he was dead.
These are only the latest two in a series of unforgivable violence. Unpopular opinion time: I believe President Donald Trump has furthered, fueled, made excuses for, forgiven, and allowed this racism. I also think that we need drastic change, because peaceful protests and people of color pleading to not be killed is not getting the job done.
Friends of ours lives in Minneapolis where so much unrest is happening at the moment. They are mere blocks away from where rioting is happening. They can see and smell the smoke from the buildings burning nearby. I am so glad they're safe. I'm glad they're coming home soon. But I get it. I understand. I know why the people of Minneapolis are furious. I am too. Where are the murder charges for the officer who took a man's life on camera while he pleaded for air? Where are the charges for the three other officers who stood by and did nothing as a man's life was taken under the knee of a police office? Aren't these the people I tell my children to go to in an emergency? Aren't these the people who have sworn to protect myself, my family, and my community? WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?!?!?!
Please do not misunderstand. I know there are good police officers. I know that a few bits of bad publicity puts a dark stain on many wonderful, undeserving people who put their lives on the line daily to protect others. But I have had enough of this madness! I spend my mornings crying as I read and watch the news. Why are we killing each other?! Because of skin tone?!?! Excuse my language, but that is the biggest bullshit! WTF?!?!? Why???
I am so upset. I am a white woman, married to a white man, with two white children, in a predominanty white state. I don't have to teach my children to keep their hands up, look at the ground, say yes sir, keep their license and insurance in the visor, never wear hoodies, don't put their hands in their pockets, don't make sudden movements, when approached by an officer. I am privileged. They are privileged. People of color live in chronic fear. It is unacceptable.
This world is so broken. This world needs Jesus. I want to love people. I also want people to feel safe in their home, neighborhoods, and on the streets. Regardless of the color of their skin. Why is that so difficult for some people to understand. I just can't fathom it. I understand the rioting in Minneapolis. They're mad. They're hurting. They're tired of living in fear. Peaceful protests aren't getting policies changed. People of color are still being gunned down by civilians who think they know the best way to handle things. Children with candy are stalked and gunned down for wearing hoodies and being black. It's unacceptable. Our president tweeted that when the looting starts, the shooting starts, indicating he would allow military action on citizens, inciting more violence. It is tragic. I cannot believe that I'm watching unfold. But to the people in Minneapolis who are fed up, that I get.
I'm sure this is a jumbled mess of emotion, but I'm not going back and editing. This is the stream of consciousness blogs I post. The anger and fear, straight from my brain to the page. This is unacceptable. I just wish I could wrap my head around all of this. But I think it's beyond me. I am just dumbstruck. I want change. I want light. I want goodness. I want love. I want compromise. I want justice. I want safety. I want these things for everyone.
Be good to one another. Please.
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