Struggling

Wrote a big long post, then got out of the app and lost it all.  Not going to write it all again.  Long story short, I'm phyically and emotionally exhausted.  Today has been a rough day with the babies.  I almost feel like looking into daycare for the next month because I'm not sure I can take this for another month.  All I want to do is rest and focus on Connor's and my health.  But I'm up and down keeping Avery from climbing, Dayton from hitting, and Avery from crying or screaming, just to name a few.  I put them down for their naps so I can get a moment of peace to breathe, but I end up in bed crying into my pillow and venting here on the blog.  My mom helps with everything, but I feel like I ask too much of her.  She would disagree with me.  I wish there were a couple other people around to help so I didn't have to ask so much from her.  Only 3 hours of today have gone by, but I'm already emotional and spent.  I just want my emotions to get back to normal.  I'm so excited about Connor, but often I feel like I'm not happy or focusing on him because I'm frustrated with Avery and Dayton and the constant battle that they can be.  I feel like I can feel my blood pressure rising.  I'm so tired.  I don't know what to do anymore.  I hope tomorrow will be a better day.  Only 25 more days.  I know I can make it.  I just wish I was doing a beter job of convincing myself.  :(