Today is my first day back with all three babies and no help. As many of you know, Mama watched Avery and Dayton for me for the passed three weeks. The first week was the week before Connor arrived. I had time to rest, relax, and clean and organized the house. The second week was our first week with Connor and Michael's week off. We had time to rest and relax, get to know Connor, and get back into the swing of having a newborn. The third week was my first week alone with Connor when Michael went back to work. I got a chance to rest, relax, and spend lots of time cuddling with Connor. :) On Thursday and Friday last week Avery and Dayton were back over here at our house, but Mama came too to make sure I wasn't overwhelmed and had plenty of help with the three babies. But, my vacation had to end eventually. ;) Today is my first day with all three babies and no extra help. I'm back to my normal new life and routine. I must say, a lot of what zapped my energy the last several months was pregnancy. Because now that I'm not pregnant, even though I do have a newborn (as well as my 19 month old), I have a lot more energy to get stuff done. Just this morning (before 8am) I have cleaned the counters of more of the party stuff left over from Saturday, put away the clean dishes, hand washed more dishes (the dishwasher is broken), got Avery up, changed, a cup of milk, and some cereal for breakfast, put away Dayton's food, and picked up the living room. I still have LOTS to do, but I think I've done a decent amount before 8am. Hopefully the rest of the day is as productive as this morning. :) I think things are going to go well with all three babies. :) It helps that Connor sleeps a lot. ;)
I have about one month left of maternity leave. I have LOVED having all my nights and weekends available to spend with Michael, Avery, and Connor. In fact, I've enjoyed it so much, that I'm not sure I want to go back. When Avery was born I wanted to go back. I got bored at home, wanted to get awsy from the house, and wanted some adult interaction time. That was also well into the fall and heading quickly to winter. Now I have a family of four. I have a newborn, but also have a VERY active, fun, and entertaining 19 month old. The evenings and weekends are the only times we get to spend together as a whole family. I'm not anxious to give that up. It's also summer now, and I'm excited to go out and have family outtings together and enjoy the warm weather. I don't know what triggered the change in my brain, but suddenly Beldens doesn't seem so important, and neither does the extra income I get from being there. The time with my family seems like it's worth so much more. Before I left for maternity leave we got a new district manager at work. His management philosophy is "everyone's replacable". This fear tactic has caused a lot of stress in the store between upper management and store management and between store management and employees. I was ready to go on maternity leave partially to get away from that stressful, toxic environment. Now thinking about going back is not so fun. :\ So I'm going to try to pinch pennies the next month and see how we do without that income, because it's one thing to go back to a job I enjoy. It's another thing ntirely to go back to a job that stresses me out and that I don't NEED, especially if I'm also sacrificing time with my family. We'll see... 3 years may be enough for me. My heart is with my family, and it's with them that I truly want to be.
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