2:40am

Good Morning, Friends and Family!  :)  I can't sleep.  :P  You wouldn't have guessed that, right?  Yup, sure enough, I got up a little before 2am to go to the bathroom, and now that I'm awake I'm struggling to turn my mind off and get the few precious hours of sleep I have left.  *sigh*  So I thought if I took a minute to write down some of my thoughts, maybe my mind would quiet and I could get some sleep.  Because letting it run for the past 45 minutes has done nothing to help the sleep come.  :P

Michael set his alarm for 5am.  That's 2 hours and 17 minutes away.  We'll get up and get dressed.  We'll pack our final items into our hospital bag.  We'll take some pictures, and then we'll be off the the Birthcare Center.  I can't wait to get checked in and get going.  :)  I hope Connor's ready to make his way into the world.  :)  I know Michael and I are anxious to meet him.  I wish I knew what to expect out of today.  But I've never been induced before, so I don't completely know what the process is.  Guess I'll find out soon enough.

I've been spending time praying in the last 45 minutes that I've been awake (and in the time I was trying to fall asleep last night).  Only seems fitting that my pregnancy end with lots of prayer, the same way it began.  I was so scared when I found out we were pregnant with Connor.  It had been less than 3 months since I'd had my miscarriage and I was frightened to lose another baby.  Seems like I spent hours each day in those first 8 weeks praying that he would stay healthy.  Even after we saw him and his strong heartbeat, I don't think I was really comfortable until I began feeling him kick halfway through.  Then, finally, I felt like I knew he was going to be safe.  Now, as we approach the end, I find myself praying for safety again.  I want his birth to go easily without complications.  I want him to be safe and healthy.  It won't be long now, I'm sure.

Still seems surreal that Avery won't be an only child after today.  We took lots of pictures last night for our last time as a family of 3.  It was fun running around and playing with her.  She means the world to me.  It's hard to imagine having another baby who could capture my heart as much as she has.  But then again, I didn't think it was possible to love her as much as I do before I had her.  When I was pregnant with Avery I worried that I'd be a bad mom because there was no way I could love her as much as I love Michael.  I was surprised to find that I can love her just as much, without ever loving Michael less.  My heart just found a way to love more.  Now, I find myself faced with the same concern.  Will I be able to love Connor as much as I love Avery and Michael?  He's not my first baby or the one who took me from being a married woman to a mother.  It's hard to fathom without him being here yet.  I'm sure my feelings and thoughts will change when he's in my arms.  :)

Please be praying for Michael, Avery, and me today.  Our lives are all changing in big ways as Connor comes into the world.  :)  I think Michael and I have prepared ourselves more than it's possible for Avery to have.  So if you think about it, say an extra special prayer for my baby girl, that this transition will be a smooth one for her.  She is my world and I'd hate for her to feel sad or hurt because a new little brother is coming into her life.  We love her so very dearly.  If she hadn't been such an incredibly amazing baby, there's no way we'd be having another one only 19 months later. 

Well, I think that's enough for now.  It's been an hour now since I woke up.  Hopefully my brain has talked things through enough and will allow me some rest.  Only 2 more hours until the alarm goes off and we begin our big day of meeting Connor.  Thank you for your love, thoughts, and prayers as we embark on this very special day.  Stay tuned, I'm sure I'll be blogging more throughout the day.  :)  Love you all!
-Jen