Monday

It has definitely been a long Monday morning, and it's only 10:45am.  :\  This has the makings of a very long day...

When Avery woke up she was soaked through her diaper, through her jammies, and all over her sheets and blankets.  Fabulous.

Dayton was chasing Avery with a shovel, making her scream.  I told him to leave her alone and asked him to go play in Avery's room (so the two would be seperated for a while because they were getting on each other's, and my, nerves).  Fake cry turns into a real meltdown.  Perfect.

Out of eggs to make breakfast, so I try to adapt and give Avery a biscuit.  She grinds it into crumbs in the carpet, rug, and loveseat.  Awesome.

After making her help clean up her mess, I grab the vaccum from downstairs.  It's apparently full, and leaves a pile of rocks and dust on the landing and the top of the stairs when I sit it down.  Ugh.

I vaccum up Avery's mess, but the noise wakes Connor up early from his nap.  Why me?

Finally we have a moment of everyone getting along, playing nicely, not fighting, whining, or crying.  Avery unzips Connor's jammies and says, "Arms up."  I tell her not to pull his arms up (he's standing by the coffee table in the breakfast nook and doesn't have excellent balance yet), but it's too late.  She says it again, pulls his arms up, and he falls to the tile floor.  Is it naptime yet?

Avery is sent to her room.  After a few minutes of crying, I hear the snaps of her diaper coming open.  I race in to put it back on.  Mom win.  Close the door behind me again, more crying.  Who even cares at this point?  I'm about ready to melt down myself.

Connor is tired from a short nap.  He's still working on a couple of teeth and is plenty fussy and cranky.  He's also nice and needy right now and fusses if I'm not in eye sight and/or holding him.

So what I'm going to need is two people...

One person needs to take my kids tomorrow morning.  I plan on sleeping in.  You'll need to pack the diaper bag yourself, dress them, change them, feed them.  I'm taking the day off.  Also, take them out of the house, because I plan on being here and frankly, don't want them here for my day of freedom.  Get the carseats in your car yourself, I'll be resting.  When you bring them back at bedtime, you can get them in their jammies and to bed.  I'm aiming for a full 24 hrs for myself.  I know all you other moms are laughing your heads off at the idea.  I know I signed up for this.  I'm just grumpy.

The other person is going to need to clean my house.  I need time for myself, but if the kids are gone, I can't help but want to take advantage of that and get some much needed cleaning done.  Start with the dishes and laundry, both of which will need to be done to completion throughout the day including folding and putting things away.  Clean the kids' rooms, sweep, mop, vaccum, windex the doors and windows, pledge the wood furniture and ledges shampoo the carpets, bleach the kitchen and bathrooms, clean out the fridge and make dinner.  That should be good on the house.  But since I'm taking the day to myself, please don't talk to me or try to chat.  Just focus on the house, I'll worry about me.  Checking in if I'd like lunch is fine.  Discussing the dinner menu is fine too.  In fact, it would be best if I didn't know this person at all, then I won't feel quite as rude when you're doing my work and I'm not even talking to you.

Grrrrr!  I'm a grump!  This morning has not gone well and it makes me think of other things that haven't gone well and here we are.  Ugh.  Mondays.  Thanks for listening.  I'm back to the real world and off my dream island now.

<Rant Over>